“You Broke Up With Each Other
Because You Two Weren’t A Perfect Match.”
Colette Gallagher (07:39-07:44)
Breakups are painful. They usually require a lot of work, healing, and support in order to
move forward. Learn how to get over a breakup! In this episode, Colette Gallagher
shares valuable tips on how you can get over a breakup in a healthy way.
Part One of ‘How to Get Over A Breakup! Tips For Moving On Fast’
Breakups are one of the painful moments people normally go through in life. It causes a
lot of heartbreak, feelings of regret and it causes you to think that maybe you didn’t work
hard enough in the relationship. For those who have already moved on, they probably
start to perceive it as a fresh start but for those who haven’t, they need more time and
that’s okay if you’re still in the healing process.
“Dealing with a breakup means reflecting on things you could
have done differently.” - Colette Gallagher (03:16-03:25)
The first essential step after a breakup is to take responsibility for your part even if
they’re the ones who broke up with you. The most common thing people usually do after
a breakup is to blame their ex-partners which aren’t healthy and this scenario causes
more bitterness. Take some time to just reflect on the relationship itself and everything
that happened. Once you realize your own faults, don’t beat yourself up. This part of the
process should be more of a reflection exercise and to be able to contemplate on what
you can do differently in the future when the right person comes.
Think about the needs this relationship was fulfilling in your life. Every relationship is
based on two people having needs and getting their needs met. Maybe you had a need
to take care of your partner or you had a need to feel appreciated. In return, your
partner probably fulfills that need of making you feel appreciated when you’re around
them. Make a list of all of the ways that your ex fulfills those needs for you and see if
you can get those needs fulfilled in your own way. That’s going to make the heartbreak
go away quickly because you’re not going to be thinking that nobody loves you or
appreciates you anymore. Instead, you find other ways to get your needs met like
volunteering for an important cause where your desire to feel appreciated will be placed
in a much more useful way.
Think about how great the relationship was and this somehow goes back to
taking responsibility for why you broke up.
Write out the problems you had together with an open mind and try not to judge it. You
can go back and reflect on those small things that you didn’t consider as red flags in the
beginning until it came to the point of having to end the relationship. A lot of times we lie
to ourselves and convince ourselves that those small things aren’t going to be a big deal
one day. Remember that if someone just stopped talking to you or suddenly
disappeared out of nowhere, that shows their lack of maturity to be able to handle the
conflict. It’s important to find a partner who respects you enough to tell you face to face
what’s the real problem that needs to be discussed and resolved.
Part Two of ‘How to Get Over A Breakup’
The fact that you can think of the person and think of the love that you had at one time
means that it’s always going to be inside of you so you’re not losing anything. You’re
just going to be transferring that love to a new partner, hopefully at the right time and
the right person.
“Love is the best thing in this world even if sometimes it doesn’t
work out the way we want to.” – Colette Gallagher (09:39-09:46)
When you’re in love with someone, you tend to give up a lot of things just to be with
them. Maybe you stopped hanging out with your friends or stopped doing your hobbies.
Go back and start doing those things again. You will experience a lot of moments when
you feel the need to be alone and that’s okay. But don’t forget that the ability to bounce
back is something that will help you big time like journaling, enjoying your own
company, meeting new people and making new memories. It is always possible for you
to be alone but not lonely. Once you’re done with the internal work and apply everything
you’ve learned, you will see great results and when you meet the right person that
makes it all worth it. Whatever went wrong in your past relationship only serves as an
opportunity to take your next relationship to the next level and that’s part of growth.
How to Get Involved
Let's co-create magic and miracles in your life! Colette understands what it's like to live
with anxiety, depression, heartbreak, PTSD, ADD, and other life challenges. She
released all these things naturally, with no medication, using different tools and
techniques she learned to heal herself. Now she loves teaching, facilitating, and
creating courses that transform her client’s lives. If you are dealing with a bad breakup
and are looking for a support system, contact Colette.